


I hate to wake you just to say goodbye

by moodyme



Series: TRC/CDTH Prompt Week 2020 [3]
Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-26
Updated: 2020-05-26
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:26:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 548
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24329500
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moodyme/pseuds/moodyme
Summary: Adam leaves without saying goodbye, because Ronan asks him to.TRC/CDTH spring prompt week day 2: hurt/comfort
Relationships: Ronan Lynch/Adam Parrish
Series: TRC/CDTH Prompt Week 2020 [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1763401
Comments: 4
Kudos: 31
Collections: TRC/ CDTH Prompt Week 2020





	I hate to wake you just to say goodbye

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, this was me totally projecting lol  
> Title is from “leaving on a jet plane” by John Denver.

  
That first thing Adam registers when he wakes up is that he is sore.

Everywhere.

Since this was the last night Adam had with Ronan before he had to leave again, they had been a little extra... _enthusiastic_.

Adam doesn’t regret it though, even if he will find the drive back more than just emotionally painful.

The second thing he registers is much more surprising.

Ronan is still asleep.

Typically, his boyfriend is awake before him. Adam has lost count of all the times he has woken up to find Ronan creepily (“It’s not creepy, it’s _romantic._ ” Ronan insists each time he’s caught. “Because you’re the prettiest thing to look at. Of course I would watch you!”) watching him while he sleeps.

Adam entertains the idea of turning the tables and watching Ronan while he sleeps. He’s surprised by how much he finds himself _wanting_ to.

He is about to settle further into the mattress to do just that when he recalls why he can’t. Or, well, won’t.

Because last night , somewhere between them fooling around in the kitchen and fumbling up to the bedroom, Ronan has mumbled something about not wanting to be awake when Adam left.

Because last night, somewhere between them cleaning up and snuggling under the warmth of the comforter, Adam had asked Ronan _why_ he didn’t want to be awake when Adam left.

“If I’m already awake, then it’s fine.” Ronan told him. “But if I’m still sleeping- I just. I don’t like goodbyes.”

“So, if by some miracle, you’re still sleeping, you don’t want me to wake you up when I leave?”

Ronan, what little Adam could see in the dim light of the room, seem conflicted.

“Yeah?”

“Okay,” Adam sighed, taking Ronan’s face in his hands to press a fond kiss to his forehead.

The truth was, it had been an easy request to grant.

The truth was, Adam hated saying goodbye as well.

He loved Harvard, loved the challenge of his classes and the friends he was making and his routine there.

It was something he had fought so hard for. Something he had wanted so badly. Something, he couldn’t quite deny, he felt he deserved.

But fuck if leaving Ronan didn’t make him ache every single time.

Ronan shifted slightly in his sleep, and Adam used the movement to slip quietly from the bed. He gathered up his clothes that were folded on the dresser, making his way on tiptoes to the en-suite bathroom where he dressed and got ready for the drive. 

He was finished quickly, used to having to get ready in a hurry during the earliest hours of pre-dawn.

Adam has his hand on the bedroom door knob when he paused. There was just enough light that he could make out the notepad and pen next to where his clothes had been. He jotted down a quick note.

They were words he would have been embarrassed to write in the full light of day. Words that he hoped he would someday feel comfortable enough to say without the safety of several hundred miles. 

They were words he felt humming through every fiber of his being.

_Dream about the days when I_  
_won’t have to leave alone and  
_ _we won’t have to say_ _goodbye_

_-Tamquam alter idem_

**Author's Note:**

> Adams note is stolen from the song btw 😉  
> Thanks for reading 💖


End file.
